funny ass political cartoon...I miss Newsweek...

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: FROM MYSPACE BLOG***

Both women & men CAN, in fact, learn a few things...

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: FROM MYSPACE BLOG***


So I guess Oprah wrote something relating to men/women relationships and oh, I love the ending...

"Share this with other women and men (just so they know)"...JUST SO THEY KNOW?...OR...I like this better...Just so they can apply the same or similar  principles THE OTHER WAY AROUND???  ;)  HMMM...... She continues, "You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepared."

Wow.  So I actually read the thing...  There's nothing wrong with it at all...not at all.  BUT, really....women get this kind of stuff all the time...where's the version for men?  Why?  Cuz they need the same or similar inspiration...  At the end, I've included the original piece I got from a bulletin from my friend Denise, but first...my slightly edited version.. hahah...think about it...

(warning: some of it is serious, some funny...just read if you like...)

my MANSWERS VERSION (haha):

If a [wo]man wants you, nothing can keep h[er] away.  If [s]he doesn't want you, nothing can make h[er] stay.  Stop making excuses for a [wo]man and h[er] behavior.  Allow your intuition [and logic] to save you from heartache [and headaches].  Stop trying to change yourself for [a beezy and] a ["]relationship["] that's not meant to be.  Slower [then fast...then slow again..] is better.  Never [ever] live your life for a [wo]man before you find what makes you truly happy [such as other people in your life, including other women, making money, work, and sports].  If a relationship ends because the [wo]man was not treating you as you deserve [then as long as she's apologized and you don't mind her friendship, it's okay, civilized people can still] "be friends".  A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend [so have her make it up to you with a new suit, shoes, a fifth of your favorite premium liquor or a twelve pack, an HDTV plasma, and/or an xbox 360]. Don't settle.  If you feel like [s]he is stringing you along, then [s]he probably is.  Don't stay because you think "it will get better."  You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.  The only person you can control in a relationship is you.  Always have your own set of friends separate from h[ers, but why would you hang out with her friends anyway?...okay maybe the hot ones].  Maintain boundaries in how a [chick] treats you.  If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a [wo]man know everything.  [She] will use it against you later. You cannot change a [wo]man's behavior.  Change comes from within.  Don't EVER [ever ever ever] make h[er] feel [s]he is more important than you are...even if [s]he has more education or in a better job [or is damn fine.  There are tons of hot girls in the world.  Especially if you're bringing your A game to the table, what else does she have to offer besides her looks?]  [She] is a [wo]man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a [wo]man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's [wo]man [without her direct or implied consent].   If [s]he cheated with you, [s]he'll cheat on you, [so as long as you're cool with that, just have fun and leave it at that.  Don't be a chump and expect her to be faithful to your dumbass].  A [wo]man will only treat you the way you ALLOW [her] to treat you.  All [wo]men are NOT [bitches...she's actually really nice, you just might have NO GAME].  You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.  You need time to [relish in the single life] between relationships [or not have them at all until you're at the age where you think you might actually want to settle down for some odd reason]...there is nothing cute about baggage [unless it's a cool new man-bag]... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.  You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.  Dating is [great] fun...even if [s]he doesn't turn out to be [completely bangin' intellectually as well as physically].  Make [her] miss you sometimes [instead of leaving her 100 creepy texts, voicemails, and myspace comments a day]... when a [wo]man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to h[er] - [s]he takes it for granted.  Never move [in together].  Never co-sign for a [wo]man.  Don't fully commit to a [wo]man who doesn't give you everything that you need.  Keep h[er] in your radar but get to know others.  Share this with other [men and women] (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink h[is] choices, and another [man] prepared.

Don't get mad at me, I'm only the messenger...
---------------------------------------------------
So Oprah wrote the following apparently.........

ORIGINAL BULLETIN/VERSION:

Oprah wrote this about men... If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepared.

JAMES BROWN, son! This is how you do work...

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: FROM MYSPACE BLOG***


yes sir!

I.F.H. Mondays...

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: MYSPACE BLOG***

hahaha move over Friday's...

See more Nick Swardson videos at Funny or Die

WHAT A NEW YEARS, INDEED!

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: MYSPACE BLOG***


WE THE DOUGHBOYS OF THE YEAR, DRINKS IS ON THE HOUSE!

WE IN THE HOUSE (House...house..)..

the Roc (PIKE) boys were definitely in effect last night...and wow, last night was most definitely the MOST MEMORABLE NEW YEAR'S EVE NIGHT EVER!

VIP all the way at one of the hottest clubs in LA, poppin bottles in the club and ladies puttin their damn hands up (Live it Up anthem)

Big things comin for the new year, we about to make shit happen...

two-zero-zero-eight, the year of the great, my niiiiiiiiiiia!

Dodgers 07: some things went right, others...NOT so much...

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: MYSPACE BLOG***

from Dodgers.com...
------------------------------------------------

Looking back, 2007 was a year of transition for the Dodgers, even if that wasn't exactly the plan.

The youth movement forcefully continued, as Chad Billingsley established himself as an ace in the making, first baseman James Loney showed he was ready for the Majors and Matt Kemp demonstrated the best toolkit of any outfielder the Dodgers have produced since Raul Mondesi.

Nonetheless, a team that had the best record in the National League after 100 games unraveled down the stretch amid a split in the clubhouse between veterans and kids, and the outcome eventually led to the departure of manager Grady Little.

January
The Dodgers welcomed the new year with the addition of general manager Ned Colletti's five major offseason acquisitions. Newcomers RHP Jason Schmidt, LHP Randy Wolf, center fielder Juan Pierre, left fielder Luis Gonzalez and catcher Mike Lieberthal made an immediate splash as they were introduced to the Dodger family.

The Dodgers also signed reliever Rudy Seanez to a one-year deal, solidifying the bullpen for the 2007 season.

Kemp finished the Dominican Winter League on a tear, helping the Tigres de Licey advance to the championship series. Despite his .232 average, Kemp had a solid championship series and drove in 12 runs in 19 games.

February
Manager Grady Little and the Dodgers were presented with several key questions entering the 2007 Spring Training in Vero Beach, Fla.

1. With the re-signing of All-Star first baseman Nomar Garciaparra, would there be room on the 25-man roster for highly touted prospect Loney, who hit a Minor League-best .380 in 2006?

2. Who would emerge as the everyday third baseman, Wilson Betemit or Andy LaRoche? If neither player could take hold of the position, would the Dodgers consider moving Garciaparra to the hot corner?

3. Which starter would take hold of the fifth spot in the rotation -- Hong-Chih Kuo, Billingsley, Brett Tomko or Mark Hendrickson? The Dodgers had already determined the other four starters: Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, Schmidt and Wolf.

March
The Dodgers split their first 12 games of Spring Training, but more importantly, Schmidt and Wolf were effective in their first two outings.

With a little more than week remaining before Opening Day, the Dodgers were hit by the injury bug when Furcal and Jason Repko collided going after a short pop fly in left-center field. Furcal suffered a left ankle sprain, forcing him to miss the first two weeks of the season.

The Dodgers, who lost Repko for the season with a torn hamstring, traded relief pitcher Elmer Dessens to the Brewers in return for outfielder Brady Clark on March 26.

Little set his Opening Day roster with Pierre at the top of the order, Betemit at third and Tomko as the fifth starter.

April
With Furcal on the 15-day disabled list to open the season, the Dodgers were shut down by Brewers ace Ben Sheets on Opening Day, 7-1, in Milwaukee. The Dodgers squeaked out of Milwaukee with one win behind Schmidt's five-inning performance in the series finale.

After sweeping the Giants in San Francisco, the Dodgers fell in their home opener, 6-3, and lost Kemp due to a slightly separated shoulder. Furcal rejoined the team on the April 13 and made an immediate impact at the top of the order as the Dodgers defeated the Padres, 9-1.

On April 15, the Dodgers celebrated Jackie Robinson Day with a 9-3 victory over the Padres, but a day later the organization's worst fear became a reality when Schmidt was put on the 15-day disabled list with inflammation in his throwing shoulder.

Led by Penny's 3-0 start, and Wolf's three wins, the Dodgers finished the month 15-11. Catcher Russell Martin finished the month hitting .314 with two homers and 18 RBIs, solidifying himself as an All-Star candidate.

 

May
The month didn't start out as planned as the Dodgers dropped two of three in Atlanta after sweeping the Diamondbacks in a two-game series. In addition, the lack of offensive production from Betemit at third base forced the Dodgers to bench the switch-hitter and call up LaRoche, who also struggled.

Penny, who started the season 5-0, continued to anchor the pitching staff, recording a career-high 14 strikeouts in a Dodgers victory against the Marlins on May 7. Four days later, Wolf tried to match Penny, striking out a season-high 11 as the Dodgers beat the Reds, 2-0.

The month ended on a tough note as the Dodgers were swept by their rivals from the American League in a three-game set against the Angels in Anaheim.

But the Dodgers got some encouraging news came from Class A Inland Empire when the injured Schmidt threw an impressive six innings in a rehab assignment without pain. Schmidt, who was recovering from shoulder inflammation, allowed no runs on two hits in a 71-pitch outing.

Overall, the Dodgers enjoyed a successful month, winning 16 of 27, ending the month half a game up on the Padres in the NL West.

June
The month of June was marred by injuries to key players, and the emergence of two youngsters. Three days into the month, the Dodgers lost All-Star closer Takashi Saito after he had to leave in the middle of an at-bat with a strained hamstring. Fortunately, Saito was only sidelined for five days after an MRI revealed no major damage.

On June 8, the Dodgers recalled Kemp from Triple-A Las Vegas. That same day, pinch-hitter Olmedo Saenz rescued the Dodgers with a two-run walk-off home run in the 10th inning to beat the Blue Jays at home.

The Dodgers called up Loney on June 10, further adding to the speculation that the team was going to move Garciaparra to third base, which the Dodgers did on June 26.

The Dodgers showcased a rare power surge on June 13, when Betemit, Kemp and Kuo belted back-to-back-to-back homers in a win against the Mets at Dodger Stadium.

After three ineffective outings in which Schmidt was unable to top 90 mph on the radar gun, the Dodgers were forced to place their $47 million free-agent pickup on the 15-day disabled list. Two days later, Schmidt was lost for the season after undergoing an arthroscopic procedure to repair a labral tear and a frayed bicep tendon.

The Dodgers finished the month 14-14, but stayed half a game up in the NL West.

July
Penny, Saito and Martin were named to the All-Star team at the beginning of the month. Martin, who was hitting .306 with 11 homers, 60 RBIs and 16 stolen bases at the All-Star break, became the first Dodgers catcher since Mike Piazza (1997) to start in an All-Star Game.

The good news turned to sour news when reliever Joe Beimel was hospitalized on July 4 because of an irregular heartbeat. Beimel spent a night in the hospital and had to miss two games because of heart palpitations. A day later, Wolf was placed on the 15-day disabled list because of soreness in his throwing shoulder.

After winning four in a row to start the second half, the Dodgers were a team-high 13 games above .500 and owned the best record in the NL at 53-40. But things began to unravel. Without Wolf and Schmidt, the starting rotation was dependent on Tomko and Hendrickson, both of whom struggled.

The Dodgers ended the month by losing nine of 13 games, and fell a game back in the NL West at the end of July. To further complicate things, Saito had to be shut down for a week because of tightness in his shoulder, Lowe suffered a hip injury on July 24 and was forced to miss a start and second basemen Jeff Kent strained his hamstring on July 29 and missed seven games.

On the final day of the month, the Dodgers made their only trade deadline acquisition, dealing struggling third baseman Betemit to the Yankees for reliever Scott Proctor.

August
The Dodgers picked up where they left off in the month of July, losing six out of the first seven games to start the month. Once full of playoff expectations, the season began to come apart at the seams.

With Kent out of the lineup, Luis Gonzalez and Garciaparra gave the slumping Dodgers' offense a boost on Aug. 2. With the Dodgers down two runs in the eighth inning against the Giants, Gonzalez hit a two-run single and Garciaparra followed with a two-run homer to give the Dodgers a 6-4 win.

On Aug. 9, the Dodgers acquired pinch-hitter Mark Sweeney from the Giants, but the losses continued to mount as the team endured a four-game losing streak from Aug. 11-14. On Aug. 13, Little held a team meeting in an attempt to snap the Dodgers out of a three-week slump in which they lost seven consecutive series. At the end of the series, Garciaparra was placed on the 15-day disabled list because of strained left calf.

On Aug. 23, Colletti acquired veteran pitcher David Wells off of waivers. With the pitching staff in shambles, and with Tomko at 2-11 with a 5.80 ERA, the Dodgers released the struggling righty and inserted Wells into his spot in the rotation.

In his Dodgers debut on Aug. 27 against the Mets at Shea Stadium, Wells was solid in a win, allowing two runs on seven hits in five innings.

Still in search of more pitching depth, the Dodgers acquired starting pitcher Esteban Loaiza off waivers on Aug. 29.

September
The Dodgers began the month five games back of the NL West-leading D-backs. In addition, the team lost Wolf, who underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left shoulder.

In his Dodgers debut, Loaiza went toe-to-toe with Carlos Zambrano, defeating the Cubs, 11-3, at Wrigley Field on Sept. 3. Loiaza pitched seven innings, allowing three runs on nine hits, and contributed on offense with a two-run single in the fourth inning.

On Sept. 5, Garciappara was activated from the 15-day disabled list, but was limited to pinch-hitting because his strained left calf was not fully healed. The third baseman played a limited role down the stretch.

After winning four of the first six games in September, the Dodgers were three games back in the NL Wild Card race, but back-to-back loses in San Francisco set their playoff hopes back.

The Dodgers returned home for a six-game set against the NL Wild Card-leading Padres and NL West-leading D-backs on Sept. 11, with a chance to revive their playoff hopes. After sweeping the Padres, the Dodgers won two of three against Arizona, and were just three games back of the Padres in the NL Wild Card race with two weeks left in the season.

That would be as close as the Dodgers would get. The team embarked on a crucial seven-game road trip to Colorado and Arizona and lost six in row, including a doubleheader against the Rockies.

With the season virtually over, tension in the clubhouse boiled over when Kent criticized the team's direction, directly and indirectly indicting just about everyone in uniform. Loney and Kemp retaliated with comments of their own, underscoring the rift between veterans and youngsters in the clubhouse.

The Dodgers lost 10 of their last 13 games and finished fourth in the NL West.

October
After a 10-year hiatus, the Dodgers announced they would return to radio station KABC AM 790 for the 2008 season.

The Dodgers bought out the options on Martinez and Lieberthal, making them free agents. Little, apparently dismayed by the clubhouse turmoil, announced his resignation despite having a year remaining on his contract.

November
Two weeks after leaving the New York Yankees, Joe Torre was hired by the Dodgers to replace Little as manager. Torre quickly announced that Don Mattingly and Larry Bowa would come with him from New York to be hitting and third-base coach, respectively. Later, Bob Schaefer was named bench coach. Rick Honeycutt, Mariano Duncan and Manny Mota returned as pitching, first-base and special coaches, respectively. Ken Howell was promoted from Triple-A pitching coach to bullpen coach.

Martin won the Gold Glove and Silver Slugger Awards as the best defensive and offensive catcher in the National League.

On Nov. 19, the Dodgers and White Sox officially broke ground on a new Spring Training complex they will share in Glendale, Ariz.

The Dodgers announced they would have a float in the Rose Bowl Parade as part of the 50th anniversary of their move to Los Angeles. The club also announced it would play an exhibition game against the Red Sox at Memorial Coliseum, where the Dodgers initially played when they moved to Los Angeles.

December
Walter O'Malley, credited with expanding MLB's reach to the West Coast by moving the Dodgers from Brooklyn, was voted into Baseball's Hall of Fame.

The Dodgers signed free-agent center fielder Andruw Jones to a two-year, $36.2 million contract.

Ken Gurnick is a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.

 

yes, yes, it’s time for a 2007 wrap-up!

***ARCHIVED 7/22/08: MYSPACE BLOG***

2007

BE HONEST

1-Did you kiss anyone?
yezzir

2-Did you date anyone?
ehh..kind of...as you get older everything turns into shades of grey...and that is a very good thing...

3-Are you going to have someone to kiss when the ball drops?
hopefully i go out, first of all....and yea, it would be a plus

4-Did you lose any friends?
ehh...kind of....shades of grey?

5-Did you gain any friends?
oh fo sho

6-Did you do something new?
haha i would go insane if i'm not always trying to do new things....so i'm not gonna write an essay

7-Did anyone important to you die?
i hope not

8-Did you change?
always...if you haven't achieved all your goals in life, and you expect to...you'd better be constantly changing/adjusting and hoping it's for the better

9-Are you happy with the year over all?
it was quite a rollercoaster...but years like these last two have made me a hell of a lot stronger...and holy shit it's been a fun fucking year...the ups w/ the downs

10-Whats the best thing that happened to you?
continuing to find myself, and all the experiences i've had to plow through

11-Did you fall in or out of love?
nah

12-Are you happy the years almost over?
not necessarily, BUT the fact that it's ending is a great thing since it's ending on a pretty high note

13-Are you going to change something about yourself next year?
i make new day resolutions, not new year ones...you have to wait 365 days to make self-improvements? pathetic...haha

14-Do you think 2008 will be a better year then 2007?
it damn well better be...hahah

5-How many things did you screw up in 2007?
quite a few towards the middle/beginning...but, once again, i learned...

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
- MJ, 23

16-Did you go to an amusement park?
damn honestly i can't keep track of all this! i think i might've gone to one hahaha

17-Did you go to a concert?
yea a lot of em

18-Did you go to any parties?
life is a party

19-Did you go on a summer vacation?
yessir

20-Did you lie to your parents?
i don't really have the necessity

21-Did you get into a fight?
nah

22-Did you leave the country?
yessir

23-Did you have a good birthday?
i had, for the first time in a while, a low-key...but AMAZING birthday...the homie scotto opening up his house, and the majority of those who actually matter were there...

24-Did anyone in your family get married?
nah

25-Do you think you grew?
yes

26-Did you dye your hair?
no

27.Who do you think you were on the phone with the most?
david

28-Did anyone sing to you?
uhh sure

29-Did you sing to anyone?
i hate singing haha

30-Did anyone tell you they loved you?
oh fo sho

31-Did you go to the hospital?
yea, but to visit...damn was that this year, or last? can't keep track!

32-What did you drink and eat the most?
lotsa grub, lotsa beer, lotsa liquor....recipe for success hahah

33-Did you change your top friends at least 8 times?
what kind of a random ass number is 8...i don't even know how to answer that

34-Did you change your profile at least 10 times?
don't think so

35-Did you change your default at least 20 times?
probably not 20...

36-Did you get a tattoo?
no feria holmes

37-did you vote?
yessir

38-Are you going to make a New Years' resolution?
NO! CHUMPS....make a damn resolution right now! not on jan 1st! what about august 15? march 3rd? nov. 20? will your promise still be there?

39-Did you stick to your New Years' resolution from last year?
new years resultions are for the weak-minded