sleepless nights

so last night i try to go to sleep at around 3am, after a night of listenin to some good ol BEP and J5...and yea i do the usual..pray then listen to music...i put in Santana's "Supernatural"...always soothing...and yea i couldnt sleep and it was already track 9....usually i can fall asleep with a good CD and the next morning i wont remember listening tpo anything past track 3....so yea...it sux..

i was up prolly til like 430 or somethin...just tossing and turning...cuz i had somethin on my mind...i couldnt get it out...i think im headed in a downward spiral...if i stay any longer in engineering it will only be out of ego and pride. simply because i know im intelligent enough to do it...and im good at math and all that junk..but you know what...i dont think i like it...not one bit. i think im actually starting to hate it. and it sux cuz i picked the majopr all quik at the onsite i just happened to walk in on at mr. scotts office that one day..haha i didnt even care about cal poly...i scoffed at the idea of coming here...ehh one way to eat my words...anyway i did coem here...and i randomly picked electrical and computer engineering when the dude asked me what majors cuz i thought..ehh it must involve a lot of math...and i like computers so..cool

well in fact in doesnt involve all that much math...just 6 quarters of it...which is nothing....and everything else is stuff im not too sure i care about

dammit dammit dammit

you know what sucks...is now that i think back...and what i really wanted to tell the guy was either one of three things...."Poli-Sci"...."Math"....or maybe even good ol "English". i guess the reasons i didnt were cuz...well with poli-sci...i have no idea why i didnt wanna do that....but with math and english..i thought..damn what the hell else can u do with those degrees but be a damn teacher. the funny thing is, in the back of my mind i kinda always thought about being a high school teacher. ehh go figure.
but anyway, im in complete turmoil cuz i dont know what to do as i get deeper into my 2nd year of college...and dammit i have to think fast before i start another quarter of what could turn into useless math and physics classes...well at least all im taking next quarter is math and physics aside from my IGE...and i guess if i end up choosing math..then its perfect cuz i need to take what im taking ANYWAY...just glad im not registered for any more ECE classes. well so now im at the cal poly career center website..cuz i found out they have mapped out every major with possible careers and different fields to go into within each major. pretty cool shit. itll make stuff a hell of a lot easier....my mind is already becoming at ease. but damn...why...why...wasted time. dammit. im going to summer school from now on FOR SURE. ill be damned if im a 6th year senior...hopefully i dont even have to stay a 5th year. i can do it...dammit i can.





oh yea.....

HAPPY BOITHDAY SEAN-DWEEZO!

oh yea..and when i was talking to an advisor lady today...she told me something so true..that i didnt even think about.......electrical engineering...could most possibly involve being like all in front of a computer all the time..being alone and quiet and stuff...and usually its more introverted people that get into it.....dammit thats so not me...i NEED to interact with people on an everyday basis....im a "shy" extrovert to the max...i cant stand too much silence all the time..i need to be busy...working by myself is cool...just as long as im around people?...get it? ehh