unexpected emotions

dang its pretty crazy, like when i put in my two weeks at anhor blue the first time, i told them bout my lil deal of lettin me go n bringin me back for christmas...we negotiated, and turned out id work a day a week til christmas then i can do it, that was 2 weeks ago.......and well it was workin out cool...i'm sure i coulda made it work, but i dunno i guess I didn't wanna deal wit da hassle of making sure schedules didnt conflict between AB and best buy. kinda sux...it was just a spur of the moment thing when i couldnt get in touch wit best buy for this weeks schedule....and so i just jumped on it and really put in my two weeks at AB...no stipulations. it felt so good at first on friday...but damn, now, 2 days later, its like im already missing the place....yea it sux how there was endless work to be done in the stock room and im the only one who can get it done (most efficiently at least), and thats all i was doing...guess i was getting bored.....wasnt gettin any floor shifts. sucked a lot..cuz thats what i would have wanted to be doing during christmas too. but yea, i know im gonna miss a couple peeps there...mainly tom cuz that fools off the hook. Chris left a long time ago, it super sucked after he "left"...and then Lee left...ehh i still seem to see him a lot, and now I'm jammin, leavin Tom behind who was supposed to leave a while back anyway. anywhoo that fools dope for real....I was listening to some Styx and Jimi and Zeppelin earlier and I thought of that dude. seriously, he fuckin rocks and i dont know if i'll ever have a manager that was such a homie. Joel left already, but i see that biotch (hehe) all the time, and Rex is puttin in his last week of work there, but I'll hopefully be seeing him a lot still too....and as for people that are OG like me....claudia.....she coo, but i'll be seein her around, monique...ehh, she coo too most the time, but ill still see her when i go to the mall, monica...crazy monica, she coo too, sure ill see her sometime...., newer peeps...des, christina...ill be hearin from them.....even newer peeps, i prolly only really got to know sara, and shes one cool cat even though she pissed me off a lot when she first got there, but kinda sux leavin her behind, shes a homie.....ryan, eh he was coo when ya gave em a chance...javier..ummm...he's a misunderstood cat....he could actually be really cool when u didnt take him seriously and spoke down to him (haha jk)....rebecca...wow super had beef wit her for the first, what 6 months or so....but she turned out to be pretty damn cool, hearing me out all the time, as well as most of the other peeps with problemos.....i always thought she was a douche at first,,,but damn she helped me soo much in realizing it was time to let go.......but yea mainly i'm just gonna be missin the atmosphere....especially during christmas...man and i tried to make it work...i sooo wanted to be there, it was honestly so so so so so much fun last year and im already regretting that im not gonna be there again. forget new people, gay people, stupid people...its the whole atmosphere, the customers, the eye candy (hehe), the "hectic-ness", the bank u make (and shifts fly like cake), and all the holiday cheer...and did i already mention the bomb booties squeezin into jeans? hahah.

well anywhoo, seeing as my deal is stll into effect..for my last two weeks, i only work one day a week...making tomorrow (monday) my second-to-the-last day at anchor blue **tear**. but yea i dunno, i guess when u put in a year and a half at a place...u feel like u shouldnt leave yet....and at such a time that is accompanied with good times and laughter and fun. plus i mean..damn it was my first job. ever. in my life. firsts are something you remember forever, and dang its hard to let go.

on a happier note...it is my third week at best buy, and i am now beginning to have a blast. i guess thats just me..im never fully content...i don't know what the word for my type of "personality" (i guess) would be...but i realized im the type o guy who tries to do a million things at once and be more than great at each one of them. perhaps thats why, over the years as i explore new things, get new jobs, learn new shit, i lose my focus and try to do everything right...and then some. maybe thats why instead of being real strong in some things, im just mediocre in all. and not just school, life in general. it kinda sux, its like i know i need to let certain things go, embrace or re-embrace the things i should focus on and get shit done.

but as i was saying, best buy...it's my third week there and i can say that today my confidence kicked in, gettin inn the comfort zone...especially cuz theres newer-than-new "new hires" and i already am startin to know my shiet pretty well and been gettin real good feedback...but i gotta be careful that it doesnt come off as cockyness cuz thats like totally not even me...haha. i'll have to wait and see. but yea i cant wait for day after thanksgivin..its gonna be crazy...and i hope the new sniper stays on board. it was her first day...pretty tite cuz she thought i super worked there and like didnt have my blue shirt for some reason. it was coo cuz she a real cool cat plus she real "nice". hehe. but anywhoot its gettin hella late, niters.